For These
By Patty Wysong
Now may the God of patience
and comfort grant you to be
like-minded toward one another,
according to Christ Jesus. Romans 15:5
'm ashamed to admit that I slammed the door hard enough to rattle the windows, but I did. It was either that or go ballistic.
The kids had interrupted me once too often with their bickering and disobedience.
As you can see, I am not one of the wonderfully patient, loving, unselfish homeschool moms we all aspire to be. I am painfully and embarrassingly...not. I'm a homeschool mom who struggles tremendously and continuously with this adventure. I love my children and would not trade them for all the time, nor money, in the world, but if you caught me at the wrong time, I'd be sorely tempted to stop and consider the offer. But I know this is what God has called me to do. I know that to the tips of my toes, so that's what I'm doing, and I'm learning so much along the way!
So, I slammed the back door to broadcast the fact that they'd pushed me too far and that they'd better leave me alone while I regained control of myself. By the time I was near the orchard I had calmed down enough to think a little more coherently. Lord, I'm near the breaking point here! The kids are driving me over the edge with their constant disobedience, mouth, and bickering. Every time I get going on this project they start up! I can't even leave the room for two minutes to go to the bathroom without a world war breaking out, and to top it all off, I haven't gotten anything done—things I need to do!! What is going on here?
There were weeds crowding my echinacea and for once I was thrilled to see them—they gave me something to vent my wrath on. I vengefully attacked them, jerking and pulling in time to the ranting in my head. Finally tears mixed with the sweat and my hands rested on my knees, trembling from exertion, as well as emotion. With my head bowed I just knelt there. Ok, Lord. I'm listening.
I heard my thoughts and had to listen to my rantings from moments before. I'm doing so much for them! There's other things I could be doing, other things I'd like to do, goals I'd like to reach for, things that I can do now, even while the kids are young and we're homeschooling. I...I...I...I...
When the ranting quieted, I heard the stillness and silence of the late summer day. The cicadas were singing, several bees went about their business, a dog barked, but still I knelt there. Within in the silence I felt God's whisper in my heart. I endured the cross and gave up My life for you—willingly--so that you could know Me. Yes, I did that for mankind, but if you had been the only one, I still would have gone to the cross for you, and you alone. Can you not persevere for the sake of these children I have given you? This is what I've called you to do at this moment: feeding and tending My lambs. Can you not do this for Me?
My heart clenched as I saw my selfishness. The main problem was not my children and their behavior—the problem was my attitude. I was focused on me and my plans for the day instead of on God and what He had for me to do. The children needed time and attention. More specifically, they needed my time and attention. There was nothing better I could do than serve my Savior by teaching and training my children to know and love Him and to treat others with gentleness and kindness. The other things would be there when I got back to them, my children needed me now.
I wiped my sweaty, tear streaked face on my sleeves and raised my face to sun. Yes, Lord, I can do this for You. Willingly and joyfully. I love You, Lord. Please help me!